Sometimes I Wish I Was an Investigator

If I were an investigator of the gospel (which I now consider myself to be), what would a conversation look like, given my current standing, beliefs, and situation, with a couple of missionaries?

Elder: Do you believe that God still speaks to us today?

Me: Yes, actually I have heard His voice!

Elder: Really? That's amazing! So, you believe in modern-day prophets?

Me: Well, what's a prophet?

Elder: A prophet is a man who speaks with God and receives revelation from Him.

Me: So, you're telling me I'm a prophet?

Elder: Well, erm, not exactly. A prophet holds the priesthood of God to direct His work on the earth.

Me: Well you guys said last time that you held the priesthood. So you guys are prophets too?

Elder: No, we're not. We're representatives called to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Me: What's the gospel?

Elder: It's faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end!

Me: Then why are we talking about prophets?

Eyes to see, ears to hear

It has been a wonderful experience to see the light and truth that God offers to those who come before Him, casting off all unbelief and false traditions, believing all things, with a broken, soft, willing, and open heart, and a desire to know. I feel like I would know what the missionaries would say the most given my experience these past two years. The events that have transpired in my life recently have turned my life upside-down indeed!

I have often thought of the people I have taught (not even 5 months ago), and the "philosophies of men, mingled with scripture" I shared with them. I secretly wished these things had been made known to me before I left so that I could actually teach the truth rather than hope my converts stay due to a good "fellowshipper". The missionary program has good intentions, don't get me wrong. However, we seem to believe that when the members are converted themselves, that's when the Lord will bless us with more "prepared" people to whom we may share the gospel. 

I taught several people who were baptized into the church. I thought I was happy seeing them progress and "exercise faith" by coming to church. It saddened me to see that many of these people fell away. Now in my constant state of reflection and pondering, I'm brought to ask myself, "Why?" And here's the answer:

"Be converted, that I may heal you"

Converted to what? An institution? An organization? Or the Lord God Almighty who reigns over heaven and earth? Why do I call them "my converts"? Who converted them? And to what or whom did I convert them? 

These have been some scary questions that I have conjured up in my mind. You see, we simply cannot depend on another person to be saved. In fact, we may well be cursed for doing so (2 Nephi 4:34). At least at the very end of my mission we started to focus on convincing our investigators to read the Book of Mormon more. Many missionaries state that at the end of their missions they finally "get it". Well, I'm here to tell you, I didn't get it. I didn't get it at all. I knew Preach My Gospel inside and out. I had read the Book of Mormon 6 times by myself (twice in Spanish) thus far. Yet I still didn't "get it". One of the last training meetings that I remember was when the Spirit spoke to me and said, "People change, society changes, the world changes. The Book of Mormon will not change." I became more excited than ever from that moment on to share that great book. While my intentions were great, and my desire was strong, I still didn't have a full understanding of what the Book of Mormon actually was, and why it was written and TO WHOM it was written. 

Some of these converts still contact me, They report of some of their sealing dates, and endowment appointments. To this I am caused to rejoice. However, I lament and mourn because of the truth that I could have taught them. I am saddened because I have converted them to myself or an organization and not the Savior. I have left them in the hands of offending members, and changing social statuses. Who knows what will become of the individuals I used to call "my people"?

Who doesn't like a big fat steak?

Well of course, the vegetarians don't. We live in a church that is comprised mostly of new members and recent converts. Henry Eyring said that himself. We'll call them the milk-drinkers. Then we have the meat-eaters, those that constantly study and treasure up the words of life, finding truth, light, answers to questions, and revelations upon revelations. Then we have the vegetarians. So I understand why the church takes the meat out of the diet, and shies away from the "deep doctrine" and mysteries of God. I, however, do not agree with how the church handles that. At some point, we move past the basics, and onto the main part of our meal, the meat. 

Here's some "watered-down" milk for ya. The gospel is faith, repentance, baptism, Holy Ghost, endure to the end. God is Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ is His Son. He loves us. The scriptures are their words, written through special people. Joseph Smith is the prophet of the "Restoration". 

There ya go. That's what we've got. I won't include the mantra "Follow the Prophet" because that is never to be found in any scripture. Besides, we have taken many words such as prophet and morphed the definition of them. A post will be dedicated to that topic later. 

Alma teaches us that we must seek out the mysteries of God! And if we don't then the chains of hell will have power over us! Joseph Smith said, "A man is saved no faster than he gains knowledge." D&C says, "A man cannot be saved in ignorance." It's all over the place! 

Alright folks, it's time for a little scripture chain. Are you ready? (We'll be using many different books here)

The first mention of the phrase "eye single to the glory of God" is located in D&C 4:5

• Why is it the eye that must be single? What does single mean? What's the glory of God? 

Stick with me here, let's look for some answers. 3 Nephi 13:22:

22 The light of the body is the eye; if, therefore, thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. (emphasis added)

There are those words again; eye, and single. 

So what is the Glory of God? These passages will come a little quicker. D&C 93:36:

36 The glory of God is intelligence, or, in other words, light and truth. 

What do we do with light? D&C 50:24: 

 That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day. 

Where does truth come from and how is it related to light? D&C 84:45

45 For the word of the Lord is truth, and whatsoever is truth is light, and whatsoever is light is Spirit, even the Spirit of Jesus Christ. 

Are you starting to see how prevalent this idea is? These examples are among hundreds of reasons why we should be studying these things out.

Christ will teach us the truth. He is a God that cannot lie. We have seen that ring true in many accounts in the scriptures and in our own personal lives. Look to Him. Believe in His words. HE will show you the way. Follow HIM in EVERY circumstance.

Anyway, I don't have a set schedule of when these posts should come out, nor will I make a business of sharing these things. I really have set this up so I can communicate some of these ideas and thoughts and TRUTHS in an understandable way. One way to know that it's understandable is to give it to others to read and hear their feedback. So let me know what you think, and if you would feel so inclined to offer more insight, please do so! 

More to come! 

Prayer- "As one man speaketh to another"

What is prayer? As defined by Google, prayer is, "a solemn request for help or expression of thanks addressed to God or an object of worship." Surprisingly, thats a fairly accurate definition. Prayer is merely described in the Bible Dictionary of the LDS canonized scripture, rather than being defined. Fortunately for us, we have scripture given of God to help us understand our relationship with God as is pertains to prayer. 

Keep in mind, these are some of my thoughts and feelings and impressions that I have received and felt as I have read the scriptures according to the given topic. I take full responsibility for the things that I write, and recognize that some of these insights may contradict what has been taught in the church and from the traditions of our fathers. 

Let me start off by first attempting to answer my first question. Prayer can be defined by many terms. For the sake of being simple, prayer is the way that we communicate with our Father in Heaven. A prayer can be a plea, asking or requesting spiritual knowledge, and temporal blessings, expressing of desire, or giving thanks. In the scriptures, we find examples of all of these things. 

Although we may already know these definitions, we have been caught up in the "traditions of our fathers" and have adopted some form of prayer that teaches us to close off our body (folding of the arms), to look down towards the ground (bowing the head), and to shut our eyes. To one who may be unfamiliar with prayer, this approach may appear to closed off, and maybe even ashamed. I suggest several ways, and examples from the scriptures to improve our form of prayer. 

Let us look to one of the greatest examples of prayer in the scriptures of all time; Enos. Enos hungered. Enos knelt upon the ground. He cried unto the Lord, in mighty prayer. These words he uses are there for a reason. Enos did not quietly express his concerns, and his problems to the Lord. This was not unnoticed by God, as we will see later on in this chapter. He gives us a sneak peek in on "how" he was praying. At the end of verse 4 he writes, "...and when the night came, I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens" (Emphasis added). This suggests to me that Enos raised his head (and his eyes for that matter) towards heaven, in an attempt to send his words, his pleas, and his cries towards that source. 

One more thing I would like to point out about Enos's experience with prayer is that he begins to have a conversation with the Lord. Notice that Enos prayers, and the Lord responds, not only with feeling, but with words, actual audible words. "Thy sins be forgiven thee" (verse 5) "Because of thy faith in Christ" (verse 8) "I will grant unto thee according to thy desires, because of thy faith" (verse 11). Enos isn't making these words up! Enos teaches us that "the voice of the Lord came into my mind". Prayer is a very personal matter, and unless the Lord wishes to speak to more than one person at a time, the Lord will continue to speak to us personally in our "minds and in (our) hearts" (D&C 8:2)

I would like to touch again on the subject of "lifting our eyes towards heaven." Enos gives us a great example, however, we know of someone who gives us the perfect example. Jesus Christ, in His intercessory prayer, found in John chapter 17, teaches us this prime attribute of prayer. Verse 1: These words spake Jesus, and lifted up his eyes to heaven, and said, Father, the hour is come; glorify the Son, that thy Son also may glorify thee". Jesus understood where His Father in Heaven was, addressed Him, and lifted His eyes towards that place. While it is not described in full detail, I personally believe the Prophet Joseph Smith kept his eyes open in his experience with the First Vision. After the darkness had almost overpowered him, how else would he have seen "a pillar of light"? There is more to learn about the eye in the scriptures, but that can be saved for a different time. Would we be "condemned" by the Father if we kept our eyes open? Apparently not. 

I have noticed recently the accounts in the scriptures with prayer. Almost all of authors in Book of Mormon and their experiences with prayer, happened outside. Nephi goes to the top of a mountain. Enos is out in the forest. The brother of Jared also climbs a mountain. Joseph Smith previously designed a place that he would go in the woods to supplicate to the Father. God is more accessible in places that He Himself created. I have felt this in my own life. We may also associate being outside in nature, in air, on a mountain (closer to God) and on the earth with lifting our eyes towards heaven. It's hard to see the heavens when you're trapped beneath a ceiling of plaster, cement and dry wall.

The Lord speaks to us just as we speak to Him. Notice in the scriptures how others address our Father using words such as thee, thou, and thine. Now turn your attention to how Heavenly Father responds to them, using the same words. We must consider that Joseph Smith translated the record according to the language that was spoken of the time.  However we address our Father in Heaven is how He will respond to us. 2 Nephi chapter 31 verse 1 teaches, "...He speaketh unto men according to their language, unto their understanding." Back then, that was how people addressed each other. When people conversed (and not just with those of authority) we can see that they said "thee and thou." Therefore, while it is a nice gesture to address our Heavenly Father with "respectful" terms, He speaks to us as we understand I would prefer to think that He does not want us to distance ourselves, or put ourselves far away from Him using such "authoritative" language. Think of all the people that try and understand the Book of Mormon with all of its "and it came to pass's" and its thee's and thy's and thou's. We ,today, wouldn't pick up on that type of language. Is it wrong to say "you" , "yours" and other familiar and informal language while addressing our Heavenly Father. Apparently not.

One more thing to consider: We are taught in the temple how Adam prays and speaks with God. With his arms raised to heaven. We know that there is symbolism tied in with that. We also know that this mode of prayer has to be teaching us something. I'm not at liberty to discuss those kinds of things in this post. 

By reading these things and applying them, I can witness of myself that God will be pleased with us. He deeply desires for us to speak with Him, and however we choose to do so, (as long as we are praying to Him, in the name of His Son) He will hear us. He will respond. As we become more aligned with the truth, we may learn more of our relationship with Him who speaks to us, just as we speak to Him. Someday, even in this life, we may have the  opportunity to speak to Him "face to face" and as "one man speaketh to another". 

Turned upside-down, and turned around

"Don't forget...don't forget...don't forget..." repeated three times in my head during a sacrament meeting, 1 month after being home. The Lord had actually spoke to me, using real words, and it caused me to weep uncontrollably for some reason unbeknownst to me. Little did I know, several months later, I would finally understand and see what this actually meant. 

My whole life (now in retrospect) I feel as if I had been prepared for the days in which I would find truth and light. I had very remarkable, and powerful spiritual experiences, including visions and dreams, and perhaps even some visitations. My patriarchal blessing even states that I "will develop a personal relationship with the Savior, Jesus Christ." I had never thought about that tidbit too much, but I would intensely ponder and accept that promise later on. Nevertheless, I was sheltered to believe that such things were so sacred as to never be discussed in public to anyone, including my own parents. Or even that such experiences happened to no one else, so they were probably figments of my imagination, especially for a young kid at that age. Thus, I kept such experiences to myself, and never told anyone. I dreamed of the days when those things would happen again. 

Those days are upon me now. I served my mission in Salt Lake City from May 2012-May 2014; An "honorable, full-time" mission. I saw some things among the leaders of the church and what we had been teaching that contradicted what the Lord had taught in the scriptures. I served for a very short time as a district leader, and quickly "shot up the ranks" to zone leader and eventually "assistant to the President" to end my mission. From the eyes of normal members and missionaries, and even from my own, I was successful and obedient. These attributes and accolades could only fuel the fire of my pride. Pride could only halt me from learning what God wanted me to learn. And it had shrouded me in figurative darkness for most the days of my life, when I thought I had been in the light all along.

I have always thought to believe differently than others. Many would call me an "outside of the box thinker." So, when I began to make several discoveries of what the church has been up to the since the death of Joseph Smith and what the gospel truly entailed, boy, did I begin to think. 

On my mission, I had begun this thought process. I hadn't heard anything concerning Denver Snuffer, or the "purge", or Zion (in its true definition), or too much about calling and election for that matter. However, what I thought was, "Okay, I have received my endowments, and I will get sealed eventually in the temple...and then what? Do I just go to church every week until the day I die, and read my scriptures faithfully and 'pray and not faint?'" Similar thoughts chased me until the end of my mission, until finally when I came home and laid eyes upon my father. Something about him was different, yet I could not distinguish what that was (perhaps because I had not yet been filled with light). Throughout my entire mission, my dad and I shared insights and discussed gospel principles, and questions we may have had. I wish I would have understood what he was saying, but honestly, most of the time it was me perusing through his "Zion obsessed" lectures. It wasn't until about 3 months after I was home from my mission, that I would begin to understand "the mysteries of God." 

It began by self-reflection. It took time alone. Then, the questions came. I began planting several seeds as Alma suggests we do with each and individual piece of supposed truth that we hear, to plant it in our hearts and nourish the seed and wait for it to grow. I must have appeared to be glued to books and my computer and the scriptures as I fed and feasted on the words of Christ, and the Prophet Joseph Smith. Questions that I had had before quickly began to make connections to answers in the scriptures and through personal revelation. For the first time in my life, I was hungry for knowledge, and I was fed morsels, just enough to keep me going and continue to nourish the tree I had planted. 

I felt as Enos, whose father had taught him concerning eternal life and the joy of the saints, and those words sunk deep into my heart. I felt as Nephi who desired to see and understand what his father, Lehi had understood and seen, Witness after witness bore record to me that the things that I was learning were true, and that I would only receive more and more light and it would grow brighter and brighter until the perfect day. I sifted through materials that I had once believed, or even "knew" to be true. What I realized was that I had never planted those seeds in my own heart to find out the truth

However, after I had done this, scriptures came to new light, I understood more than I had ever understood about the gospel through my own personal study of the God's word and I was not dependent on any other man or being in this world, rather I sought the further light and knowledge promised by Heavenly Father and His messengers. The gospel finally was delicious to me. Scripture study was longer than the "feasting" 15 minutes, or the dutiful hour spent by a missionary preparing lessons for investigators. In fact, it was almost as if I had become the investigator as I sought for truth and light. The missionaries who taught me might as well have been Alma, Nephi, Jacob, and Moroni, teaching with true authority from God in heavenly form. 

As I studied these things, a mighty change of heart was wrought upon me by the Holy Ghost. I had always desired to feel something similar to what the people of King Benjamin described in Mosiah 5. And, so I did. I no longer have a disposition to do evil. I have come to find out what "being in the world and not of the world" means. 

Music has been such a tremendous part of my life, yet, I rid myself of the "chords" that would have eventually dragged me down; chords of hardcore melodies, and gross, lyrical and seducing serenades that only fed my natural man's ears. Instead, I filled my ears with the sweet and pleasing word of God. 

Facebook, Instagram and all other social media, in which I would mindlessly scroll through, became disgusting to me. The videos, the posts, the meaningless statuses and pictures suddenly meant nothing to me. I started to gain an eternal perspective on life which helped me to discern and distinguish what really was important. I thought I had figured out what I wanted to do with my life in terms of career and status in the world. Those things became unimportant to me. While I still may be searching for that purpose, I know it can't be anything that has to do with building Babylon among us. 

Many challenges still lie ahead of me. Before I began an intensive study of these things, I would catch myself thinking deeply in the temple about what it means to sacrifice; to lay everything on the altar. That is what is necessary. It may be everything you have achieved in this life thus far. It may be those you call your friends, and those who are your family, the ones you love. It is giving up "all your sins to know (God)". I'm not saying I'm perfect now that I know these things, or even that I know more than anyone else. However, I have learned how important it is to give everything to God, and not to man. Until this time in my life, I was headed in the wrong direction, and turned the other way. Now, I have begun my honest and true journey to my Savior, Jesus Christ. He turned my life upside down, and turned it around towards Him.